So I have a month left of being pregnant. It's gonna be weird not having my little buddy inside me all the time.

I JUST KEEP GETTING FATTER!
actually I am really small for being 7 months prego. I can't sleep at night anymore. Can't get comfy. I think I may start having a glass of wine before bed.
Ohh how I miss beer.
first thing I do when I get this little monkey out of me is crack open a nice cold beer.
life/work has been great. I nested at home, made a really cute nursery which I will maybe post pictures of. But I may forget. But now that I am done there, I have been nesting at work. It's transition time which means my 4 year olds are leaving and I am getting three yearolds and I have been really busy setting up the classroom for them and getting things prepped and ready for transition time to be over.
I get to have another ultrasound on Thursday of next week, I am excited/nervous to see her again.

So, I have marginal placenta previa. It's when the placenta partially covers up the cervix and the only way for the baby to come out when she is born is a c-section. But there is a chance it could fix it's self. So I have to go back in 6 weeks for another ultrasound to see if it has changed at all.
She also has a small calcification on her tummy and they think it might be a gallstone.
I'm not to thrilled about the whole placenta previa thing, because if it progresses in to full previa or stays the same I have to have a c-section and then I have to deal with everything I was trying to avoid. (hospitals, needles, and an epidural)
When she is here it will be all worth it. But I don't have to be happy about it.
I need something to take the stress off.

it's a girl

my wedding was amazing. I bought new car. My tummy is huge and one of my bestfriends is pregnant so our babies are going to be really close in age. That is exciting.
I <3 life.
I found a really interesting book on the effects of spanking, and timeout.
Ohh crap.


Edit: car dealerships suck and I lost my car. Apparently they have 4 days to change their mind on financing and they did. Back to the escort.

bleh, july 6th can't come soon enough.
and I am getting married in less than two weeks.



crazy crazy!

Hawaii was AMAZING!


glad to be home though

and I am three months pregnant. whoo hoo!

Hawaii here I come...in 53 days.

I have a chest cold, and it is not fun.

Thank you for everything you have done in my life, if it wasn't for you I would not be where I am today and all I have to say is thank you. I may not like you, at all, but you did a lot for me. You pulled me from a really rough patch in my life which was throwing my in a downward spiral to hell, and saved me from hurting myself. You introduced me to the love of my life, and helped me past my fears. I thought we were going to be "besties for life" but you taught me a lesson which forced me never to forgive you. For this, I am eternally grateful. I hope you grow up someday and become a better person. But, stay the hell out of my life.

It seemed like a long ride home from work last night. I could feel something was wrong, in the barrel of my chest I could feel it. I tried to ignore it, hoped it would go away. It didn't. When I got home I knew something was terribly out of order. I stepped into Hannah's room and there she was, completely out of her mind and in my house. All I could hear was my heart pounding harder and faster. I could see crack flames in her eyes, I should have been scared. I should have just called the cops and had her removed rather than taking it apon myself to grab her by her hair and drag her out.

I got bored on my break at work and wrote these.

I also found out today, an old friend of mine stalks my livejournal and my myspace. Can we say crazy?




( Silly writings here )

life is good.


actually.....wonderful.
I am amused.

I have found it rather fun to watch people in crowds or at restaurants.
I really wish I knew what was going through their heads. It would be interesting to hear their thoughts. Are they happy? Do they wonder what happened to their lives? Are they really a good parent? How many times did he tell his wife I love you that day?
It would be amazing if I could get into their heads, maybe it would give me a better understanding of why people do the fucked up things they do.

I love my apartment, I can't believe we have been here for 3 months already. It is amazing and so homey. The dogs seem to enjoy the, open the door, run out, and pee thing too. They get to go for lots of walks with Tanner and I. Blake has a new fascination with eating snow. Brody likes to play with snowballs. Speaking of snow, this is getting ridiculous. I have had three snow days so far and I am starting to develop cabin fever. Going to work every day and playing football with four year olds is my balance in life. Being stuck in my apartment reading books all day is driving me bonkers. I wish both my cars' ignitions didn't go out. I am stuck with the fiesta bus, which is huge and ugly and does not do well in the snow at all. Thus, confined to my apartment.

Oh, joining an all lesbian soccer team soon. That is going to be a load of fun.

So in the past 4 or 5 months I have gained a lot of weight. I am trying to drop it, I work out every morning for an hour and started eating healthy again, but the weight isn't dropping. I hate it. But I am going to keep pushing.
But what I really hate isn't the weight, it is the way my mother treats me because of it. On my sisters birthday she told me I couldn't come over for cake because she didn't want her boyfriend to see what I looked like now. It stung so bad I ran away to Olympia for the night.
On top of that, I went to pick up my sister from her house, and she made a comment about not going to the mailbox with out make-up and that I should learn to take care of myself better.
She isn't a mother to me anymore, she is just another person, a person that I don't particularly like.

A lot has happened in the last two weeks. And it's a lot to take in, but I am dealing with it.
I quit Events and Adventures, and got a job as a preschool teacher at the same place Tanner is working. Surprisingly we live together, work together, and still don't seem to spend enough time together. Lol. I like it a lot. A lot of the kids are really great. And there is always really good food. I am still working at Jcpenny, which is alright, not as fun as it was originally though. But I still like it.
Charles emailed me. It was almost scary. He apologized. I feel a major sense of resolve. It's a good feeling.
We are moving in 7 days. I am really excited. Yay, bigger place.
So life is good. Hectic, but good.
Funny, how a ten hour day here feels like nothing.
How many jobs does a person have in their life where the can play with kids, have snack time and lunch, and take a nap and get paid for it?

location: Wallingford Child Care Center mood: accomplished

Aside from the 6 hour drive each way. Getting to go to Florence, Oregon was amazing. The sand was so soft it was like walking in snow. And when it got in my shoes, for the brief periods I was wearing them, it wasn't annoying like normal sand it was soft and I actually didn't want to dump it out. Lol.
My dogs saw a bird and ran off though. Tanner ran 3 miles down the beach just to catch them. He doesn't even like them, but he knew I would have been devastated if I lost them for good. It was scary but he got them.
Not having a radio in my car sucks, but we made it fun by playing games, arguing about the word Butte (butte, butt, hehe) and making fun of mexicans and telling them that they were going the wrong way. "you're going the wrong way!"
"que?"
"the border is the other way!"
Aurora says:
dude, I got yelled at at a rest stop today for using a girls bathroom
~Geisha_Synthetix~ says:
that is not good hunny
~Geisha_Synthetix~ says:
lol
~Geisha_Synthetix~ says:
it means you either smell really bad...or its time for new clothes again lol
Aurora says:
apparently dykes are supposed to pee outside
~Geisha_Synthetix~ says:
lmao
~Geisha_Synthetix~ says:
well on a normal cicumstance thats what you do...but if there is a toilet paper option you tend to be perswayed to pee inside


Pictures under the cut!


( Read more... )

I am sick, and my work made me go home.
I am so mad about getting sick, I decided to share it by coughing on everyone else's phones.
Moving soon, got a new place in lake forest park. I am pretty stoked about it, it's a 2 bed 2 bath for way cheaper than what I am paying now.
Plus it has EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am everyone's favorite at JcPenny.
It's pretty much amazing.
I pierced my lip again.
It feels wonderful.

Gender Odyssey was a lot of fun. Lots of work shops, got to meet lots of new people, see a lot of chests. Met really hot tranny bois, who think Tanner and I should be polyamorus. I hate that people think we are missing out because we are not open and don't want to share each other. Yeah it's fun to oogle and talk about how we think people are hot, but when it comes down to it, we have huge crushes on each other and no one else.
I got to learn a lot of new stuff.
A bunch of the PAX kids snuck up to our area and apparently they thought we were having a porn convention.
LOL.

I learned a lot about myself this weekend, and kind of more about where I wanna go with my life and what I want to do.